I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I need to align my fucking chakras
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize