can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
