did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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