What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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