I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
