What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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