So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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