Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
