do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
