a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
