Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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