Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
