I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He felt like a one man threesome
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.