there was a trapeze. enough said
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
