and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask