Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.

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(269): After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever. http://tfl.nu/nvrl

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(631): View more from New York

She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.

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(631): She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best. http://tfl.nu/b2i1

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(404): View more from Georgia

So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.

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(404): So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that. http://tfl.nu/ssua

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(410): View more from Maryland

She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.

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(410): She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY. http://tfl.nu/v8u7

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...

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(413): I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM... http://tfl.nu/mwn4

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(406): View more from Montana

We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.

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(406): We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase. http://tfl.nu/9rce

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(949): View more from California

I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..

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(949): I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed.. http://tfl.nu/gr14

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.

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(405): I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad. http://tfl.nu/l0uz

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(541): View more from Oregon

Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.

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(541): Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening. http://tfl.nu/zy8e

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(469): View more from Texas

I will probably be peed on at some point today.

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(469): I will probably be peed on at some point today. http://tfl.nu/flw0

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?

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(318): Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it? http://tfl.nu/nm01

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(614): View more from Ohio

2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.

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(614): 2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever. http://tfl.nu/992h

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(847): View more from Illinois

Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.

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(847): Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron. http://tfl.nu/1d6g

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(734): View more from Michigan

I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.

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(734): I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony. http://tfl.nu/i9iy

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.

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(978): I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once. http://tfl.nu/s0yn

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