I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.