Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
