Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
