I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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