How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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