I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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