If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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