I smell stomach acid.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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