How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
