I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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