Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
