is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I think your dad took our porno
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
