I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
