I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
