no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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