If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize