First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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