so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
