You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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