Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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