Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
