I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You need a sexual gate keeper
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
