Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
