So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize