ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
