Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize