I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
