She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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