Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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