Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
