i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
