I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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