God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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