My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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