THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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