He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
