brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
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