Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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