Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
