i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
