we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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