Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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