you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
