i think i have herpe
just one?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
