hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
