I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think your dad took our porno
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
