i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
